Jane Lake Makes a Mistake

I am glad that you feel like you have found a venue where you can comfortably express yourself.

Personally, I found it a bit offensive. I had an abortion a year and a half ago. I underwent the procedure incredibly early (the week that I found out I was pregnant). It saved my life, it saved the childs life. I will not raise a child until I am able to be a competant and responsible parent. I wasn't ready. Accidents happen (we used a condom). I am educated, focusing on my career and building a life for my future family now. Having a choice made this possible. I cannot wait to start a family in a few years- when the time is right and it is FAIR to the child to bring them into this world.

At less than 5 weeks along the embryo was smaller than the point of a pin. It had no chance of survival without me- existing in a parasitic fashion.

I have struggled with guilt and question of "what if" ever since. I am okay with this burden. I knew it would come. It was hard for me as I had no one to talk me through it who had been through it and no family member to support me. I was alone and scared.

Now I talk to other girls who face the same thing. They have already made their decision (I am not trying to sway anyone!) but perhaps just want comfort through the process. The least I can do is share my experience to help quell their fear in an already intimidating situation.

What it comes down to is this: I want to be a responsible parent. I want to be ready to devote my entire life to that child. I was not ready.

Besides, if you cannot trust me with a choice (legally, as an adult) then HOW CAN YOU TRUST ME WITH A CHILD?

I am sorry we couldn't have spoken a year and a half ago. I mean no offense and have no desire to put any salt in your wounds, but will address the points you have raised.

1) Adoption would have saved your child's life, not abortion.

2) Accidents never need to happen. People have been mislead that using certain contraceptives is okay even if they fail 1 - 20% of the time. No intercourse = No pregnancy. Don't do it unless you are prepared for the consequences.

3)Size doesn't matter. A life is precious no matter how big or small. (Sorry, Dr. Seuss) Someday artificial wombs will ensure the survival of all unborn children.

4) There are over 4,000 pregnancy crisis centers in this country for women to talk to others, staffed with volunteer women many of which have had abortions.

oh good lord. this is one of the most annoying and offensive sites i've seen. and trying to pass off your trite tripe as poetry is even funnier than your assinine opinions.

Someone:

I almost deleted your post, but it is valuable to me to make a few points.

1)No one has been saved by embryonic stem cells.

2) Your name links to Planned Parenthood. What a surprise!

I liked your poem and your point.

Anonymous, you were already a parent.

It's not the unforgiveable sin, however, you won't start healing until you allow yourself to start grieving.

If there is a next time, I hope you will keep the baby alive until s/he can be given to an adoptive couple. They would have been much happier that way, and ultimately, so would you.

Regardless of someone's view about abortion, I don't think anyone can argue with your point that people try to make certain ideas palatable by changing the names of things. We don't eat pig, we eat ham. We don't eat cow, we eat steak. And it is true that the same thing has happened in the pro-choice/pro-life issue. Change the words and you can make your side sound "right."

BV

Nice post Jane and good response to Anonymous and Saved by Stem Cells.

Anonymous exposes the utter egocentricity of many so-called pro-choice females. "I", "I". "I"...

As if at some point when she is good and ready (maybe next week if the weather is good and career is doing fine) she will instantly transform herself into "a competent and responsible parent" Make sure you tell your "family" of the future that you killed off one of their brothers or sisters to "build a life" for them.
I'm sure they'll be proud of your noble sacrifice especially having somehow survived your suffering of their "parasitic" pre-birth existence.

Btw why the guilt? Well no matter as long as you can get over it by convincing other mothers about to kill their babies that they will get over it too. Touching.